Yesterday I went on my first outdoor bike ride since my surgery. It felt pretty strange. First, because I am riding with flat pedals; I’m so used to being clipped in, so different muscles are used during each pedal revolution; more quad power as opposed to all leg power. It rained like hell but nothing was going to stop me from going out. I can’t even describe the feeling of freedom that came over me. I was on my mountain bike on the road, so it was pretty slow going with the knobby tires, but I want to start easy. It was a pretty flat ride and mentally I was prepared to cut it short at about 10km cause I still had to go back another 10k, but I was feeling physically okay, so I pushed on to the 15km mark. I know 15km may not sound very far, but on a mountain bike with knobby tires, but I was well aware I had to ride that same 15k back to the truck; it takes much more effort than on a road bike, or even a bike with slicker tires. There is much more friction and resistance; and the place I was riding is situated in a valley, so more times than not you are dealing with headwinds or crosswinds. Fortunately, the winds weren’t too bad. It’s a running joke between Lee and I…more times than not you’re dealing with crazyassed winds out there in the Valley; we’ve both ridden out there lots over the years. Once this fellow rider, a know-it-all type, was out there and told me the wind NEVER blows out in that valley…it was such a big fat lie, but that person is the type that is ALWAYS right, so I didn’t bother wasting my breath arguing. So ever since then, whenever we ride out in the valley and have to contend with the winds, one of us will say, “It’s windy…wow, that’s strange cause it NEVER blows out here in the Valley.” Then we will look at each other and laugh. We’re so evil.
The most amazing thing to me, and I had to take a moment after my ride to absorb it, but even after riding 30km, my back hurting because it’s not used to being in that position for so long, and my quads a little rubbery, after I stepped off my bike, there was no pain in my hip. None. Before surgery, I would hobble off my bike and usually had to physically lift my leg with my hand to get it into the truck before I could get myself in…so as I effortlessly lifted my leg on its own power without a thought, it hit me. I looked at Lee and he was watching me. He had a huge smile on his face…he knew what I had been living with. He’d been living with it too. I could only just say “Wow.”
Until I started recovering from the surgery, I was unwilling to admit to myself how debilitated I had become…and how much pain I had been living with. I have a high pain tolerance…I’m a tough chick and I’d rather bite my lip and deal with it, than take pain medication and I think over the years as it worsened, I just got accustomed to it. I managed the pain with Reiki, acupuncture and high doses of fish oil – I just sucked it up and lived with it. Now as I take each step freely, I am grateful to my surgeon and titanium.
It really is amazing and freeing and even a little awe inspiring to live my life without discomfort (I hate the word pain…I think it’s overused and misused in some cases).
So as I begin to get back in physical shape for the stage, I marvel at how quickly I’m getting my strength back. I am also reminded, that the power of that is in my hands.
